Change....

Anyone who knows me knows that I fear change. I can handle it if I have to, but change scares me. A LOT. (Hard to believe for a traveling special education teacher, huh???)  I seldom look for it. The really crazy thing is that I know that change is inevitable. Necessary even. So what is a person like me to do?

Moonie is now 5 years old and getting ready for kindergarten. That is almost painful to write. She will be entering kindergarten in the next few weeks and I am not ready. SHE is ready. Completely ready. I get teary just thinking of it. When did she grow up? Where did the time go? She is smart and and funny and an amazing little person... and ready to grow more. I am trying to wrap my brain around it. I never want to hold her back from being all that she can be because I am not ready for it. So... I will adjust. I will cheer her on and look back 6 months from now and be even more proud of the child she is because she is growing and learning like she is supposed to.

Bubba is going to be 7 in a couple of months. Every day he is looking more and more like a boy instead of the toddler I still see in my head when I think of him. He is smart and kind and a lover of life. He feels everything and shares generously. I could not be more proud of him. He is ready for first grade and football and all that life has to offer. He has no fear of taking on challenges and adapting to change. He is curious and thirsts for knowledge. There is so much I can learn from him....

I am blessed to love what I do for my career. Teaching is magic to me. I feel lucky to have other people trust me to help guide their children to adulthood and give them some of the skills they need. I am having a hard time this year as our district seems to be going through some changes, too. We are adapting to district wide changes (curriculum, testing, structure, organization, support, etc...) and the biggest issue to me is the staffing changes. We as a district have lost some AMAZING teachers this summer. They have retired or moved on to bigger and better things. While I am always happy when a person is able to be true to themselves or fully realize their potential, I am sad for our loss. I am sad for my loss of having those people who always find a way to motivate you on a low day or make you laugh on a really rough day. I mourn the loss of those who praise you when you do well and see the value in what you do. I know that in order to grow, change is needed. I also believe that life brings certain people into your life to change you- to teach you how to grow or what you don't want to be. I am curious to see who I encounter this school year...

So in this season of change for me, I am trying to embrace it. I am trying to believe that everything around me is happening to help me grow. I hope it is happening to teach me important life lessons. Kids have a powerful way of teaching us the important things if we choose to listen: to live each moment... to be in awe of nature... to love without regret or reservation... to share without expectation... to take what comes... and to be honest with everyone. So as I grow up and face another school year filled with all sorts of changes, I will take another cue from my kids and try to embrace the change. They will continue to teach me how to grow by pushing me outside my comfort zone. I guess that is where all of the growing happens...